god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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