I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I didn't notice because vodka
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
