apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
