He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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