god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
