I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
