So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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