Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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