Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
