i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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