Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
