u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
