You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
