look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
