My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize