Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
