he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
