I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
