Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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