Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
