OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think pants incapable of making pants work
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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