i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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