At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
