You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
