hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
