Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
