Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
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