Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
