There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
third nipple confirmed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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