im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
