I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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