You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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