We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
