dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
