wanna go halves on a baby?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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