So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
