Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
