Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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