Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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