went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
