C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
