Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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