so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
