How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
