btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
