He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
