dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
