what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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