The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize