Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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