Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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