my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
