You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize