do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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