Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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