I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
