You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
