what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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