that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize