Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
