The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
