Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
