Sponge bath it is.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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