Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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