I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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